Inspiring stories: Mum and son learn to ride together
Many adults have never had the chance to learn to ride a bike. I have now taught over 40 complete beginner adults to ride a bike. However learning a new physical skill as an adult has its challenges.
Those of us who can ride may have no clear memory of learning to cycle. For example, I have a memory of riding a red Raleigh bike along Cramond Promenade with my mum and dad but it maybe that I saw a photo and over time it has become a ‘memory’. As I remember I always had a bike and played on it after school with other kids. However some kids never learnt to ride, maybe because parents weren’t interested or they fell off and never got back on.
My adult learners want to ride for different reasons but most of them have convinced themselves that they will never learn. They are so surprised when they start pedalling! One 55 year old told me that despite watching her husband cycle to work everyday, she had convinced herself that she could not ride so avoided trying to learn. But during lockdown she watched more and more people ride and finally thought “I want to do that too”. A year later, she booked a 90min lesson and that was all it took! She now rides with her husband and they recently took a trip to Skye with their bikes! A different story involves a 35 year old man who had to relocate with his job to Holland. Knowing that the main mode of transport there is cycling he felt he must learn to cycle so that he could enjoy the Dutch lifestyle to the full. And of course, he did!
When Zoe told me that she wanted to learn with her son, it immediately made me smile! A week before, I had taught a mum and daughter from Greece and it was so much fun. The dynamic changes when parent and child learn together. I often teach siblings together and I can quickly spot sibling rivalry. One always learns slightly quicker so I always make each learner know they will succeed at their own pace and subtly give extra challenges to the more able. This kind of differentiation is something good teachers do almost naturally.
Daniel, 9 and his mum, Zoe, 45 were both complete beginners. Zoe’s own mother never rode a bike and so there were no family bike rides when she grew up. Instead Zoe wanted to have family bike rides for ice cream and wanted her boys to enjoy cycling. It’s so inspirational that a busy mum, running her own successful business and looking after 3 boys, wants to learn a new skill to enjoy with her kids. Wanting to learn together as a family is special but can be a daunting experience. Adults have more developed fears - fears of falling, fear of failure, fear of physical limitations etc.
A private lesson means no one apart from me sees these fears. Kids are almost oblivious that their parents may have fear yet as a mum, you sense every anxiety that your child feels. Zoe knew she had to stay positive for Daniel, not showing her own fears whilst trying to learn challenging new skills herself. We were flying after 10 minutes. Daniel would set off first, then stop as he was instructed to and run back to cheer on mum. They were high-fiving each other and loving the feeling of actually riding! They began to feed off each other’s energy and watched each other repeatedly practicing the start and the stop. Son was now teaching mum and for a short while, roles were reversed. Teachers strive for students to become autonomous learners, who are in control of their own learning; when they start teaching their peers unprompted, we know they have achieved success. Daniel had now taken on this instructor role. He was giving mum advice about how to start and he was now oozing confidence! He nonchalantly freewheeled down the slope as if he’d been cycling for years and stopped at our marker ‘the bench’ and looked back to watch his mum. Zoe was half way down the slope - a huge grin on her face as she watched her son whooping and shouting ‘This is best ever!’ This… perfect freeze-frame moment!
Riding back, Zoe in front, Daniel just behind, proved they had succeeded together, both learning their new skills and creating a shared memory of achievement. They were buzzing with excitement and rightly proud of each other.
